Stopping the skid

He drives with confidence

upshifting and downshifting

like a professional driver in a closed course

leaving a cloud of dust and a sportscar logo

in his wake

until he is distracted

second-guesses himself

overcorrects

and hits an unseen gravel patch

the mountain road he so expertly manuevered

becomes a terrifying track

as he struggles to regain traction

overcorrects

second-guesses himself

and for a moment

he takes his hands off the wheel

in panic

in surrender

but the moment passes

he regains composure

decides he will not give up

and let the force of physics drag him

over the edge and down to the valley floor

so he grits his teeth

grips the wheel

prays with the strained whispers

and unvoiced screams of a dying man

and tries to stop the skid

===

This is me, gripping the wheel and stopping the skid.

I don't have an official weight for you, but i think i gained back about half of what i lost.

I let a lingering foot injury and my own poor reactions to external stressors determine my actions, so I haven't been to the gym in weeks. I'll be there tomorrow morning at six.

Official weigh-in back on, on Monday.

Over Easter weekend, I'll be committing to a trainer/nutritionist. I need professional coaching if I'm going to succeed in these early stages of the journey back. I'm currently looking at my options. If you have suggestions, comment or email.

Day 1: Going back to basics. I need to win today.

Week 10, Day 2 Weigh-in

Week 10 Results
Starting Weight: 504.0 pounds
Previous Weight: 491.0 pounds
Current Weight: 491.6 pounds
Weight Change: +0.6 pounds
Total Weight Loss: 12.4 pounds

===

I've got nothing to say for myself. In almost three months, i've only lost 12 frigging pounds. Which would be fine for someone with 30 or 40 pounds to lose, but not for someone who really nees to lose more than 250 pounds.

This makes me sick.

Week 9, Day 2 Weigh-in: Grrrrazing.

Week 9 Results
Starting Weight: 504.0 pounds
Previous Weight: 490.2 pounds
Current Weight: 491.0 pounds
Weight Change: +0.8 pounds
Total Weight Loss: 13.0 pounds

===

Started out the week strong, then got side-tracked by:

• Taking my sister out for Chinese and not making smart choices
• Grazing on the little sweets and things available at a wedding
• Not resisting the temptation of getting some ice cream

I've been really, really hungry lately. I need to accept hunger as normal, rather than go out of my way to avoid it.