Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Week 37 Weigh-in

Starting weight: 505.4 lbs
Week 31 Weight: 463.6 lbs
Week 31 Change: -2.4 lbs
Total Weight Loss: 41.8 lbs


The comment's been made, and I think it's fair, that my blogging "voice" tends toward persuasion. I want you to believe what I'm saying is true.  And I can promise you that when I write, what I'm writing is sincere.  So I want you to hear what I'm saying now, and I want you to believe it:

Losing weight, and losing a large amount of weight, is really, really hard.  It's really frustrating.

And it's really easy to lose sight of the goal. It's really easy to compromise. It's really easy to lose hope.  It's easy to convince yourself that an extra piece of candy or an extra spoonful of tikka masala is totally okay, and won't make a difference.

It's easy to lie to yourself. 

I want to stay upbeat. And I can always claim the fact that, unlike past weight loss attempts that usually had a shelf-life of about 6 months before fading out, after almost 9 months, I've still maintained a 40lb weight loss. That's all well and good. But it's still only 20% of my goal.  I have a long way to go.

For some reason, I got on my old Youtube channel and watched the vlogs I shot over a year ago, the last time I tried to lose weight and failed.  It's interesting hearing your own voice say all the things you know you need to hear.

I really don't have a conclusion or final point.  This is hard, gang. And I started off the week badly.  If I can't be very controlled and get in at least 2-3 workouts, I may post a gain.  I'm so tired of being on the yo-yo again.

[Insert peppy rah-rah final thought here]

Friday, March 2, 2012

Brief Catch-up Post

Yes, I've been a lousy fit-blogger.  No excuse for that.

Here's the run-down, in about 60 seconds:
  • Since I checked in last, I've had a net gain of 5 pounds. Current logged weight: 466.
  • Not sure how tomorrow's going to go, but I have no reason to think it won't go well.
  • I'll try to get back to regular posting in the next week or so.
  • Tomorrow marks 4 weeks until Mudder Dash. I'm concerned, to say the least...

Happy Friday, all.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Week 31 Weigh-in

Sorry, forgot to log it this week.

Starting weight: 505.4 lbs
Week 31 Weight: 460.4 lbs
Week 31 Change: -1.0 lbs
Total Weight Loss: 45 lbs


Another loss, and keeping up the 2 lbs / week average. Hoping for another strong week.  I've had a few less-than-stellar days this week, so the goal is to finish the week strong. 

I'm sorry that I'm not very chatty lately.  To be honest, I'm feeling a bit uneasy lately about the diet/fitness thing.  I'm just not feeling especially confident lately--not that I'm having second thoughts about committing to do this, but rather that I don't trust myself to have the strength to persevere.  And just saying "I'm gonna do it! I'm never giving up!" is a load of empty words.  I'm tired of empty words.

It's funny (and perhaps fitting) that I find myself going back to the simple phrase that has kept me going in the past:  Win the day.

You screwed up the diet yesterday? Let that go. Win the day.

You haven't gone to the gym in a week? Start over. Win the day.

Your sleeping habits are erratic, and you feel exhausted? Shake it off. Win the day.

I can't promise I'll hit all my fitness goals.  I certainly want to reach my goal weight and live a healthy life well into my twilight years.  But I'm feeling too weak to give you guarantees of that. So I'm just going to focus on winning the day.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Week 30: Back to Form

Starting weight: 505.4 lbs
Week 30 Weight: 461.4 lbs
Week 30 Change: -3.0 lbs
Total Weight Loss: 44 lbs


Okay, this is much better. 

Was a good week. Stuck to the plan for the most part, worked out a bit (not a lot, and not consistently), and mainly just didn't freak out.  This is going to happen as long as I don't get all stressed out about it.

Don't have much to add.  Just wanted to check in with my number. 

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Weight, Weight, Don't Tell Me...

Know what's vital to proper food management and portion control? Knowing how much your food weighs.

Know what helps you do that? A scale.  Not just any scale, though. Because I have a semi-cheap plastic scale with the moveable bar thing.  What would be even more helpful is a digital scale...

...Like the one that Kenlie at All The Weigh is giving away!  She's given away a body scale before. So it pays to read her blog.

What's that? You don't read All the Weigh or follow Kenlie at @alltheweigh on Twitter?

Well, you should.

(This blog post has been brought to you by a shameless attempt to earn bonus entries to a giveaway. I want this scale, y'all.)

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Week 29: The Return of the WaddlingBison

I said around Thanksgiving that I wanted to lose ten pounds by the New Year.  Turns out, I had it backwards.

Starting weight: 505.4 lbs
Week 29 Weight: 464.4 lbs
Week 23-29 Change: +9.4 lbs
Total Weight Loss: 41 lbs

The thing about making excuses and exceptions for yourself is that once you start, you can't stop. It becomes easier and easier to allow yourself a cheat here, a cheat there.

And when you realize your weight is rising, it's easy to disappear from the internet and withdraw from accountability to others.  Sorry about that.

I'm back. I'm not going anywhere.

And I'm about to go to the gym. See you later, kids!

Monday, December 12, 2011

Weeks 24 and 25: Step back.

Have I been hiding? Yes, a bit. But I know I can't hide forever, so here's my post.

In Week 24, I backslid and gained 1.4 pounds.  And I was frustrated. I was tired. There was a lot going on in my world. So I made a decision, wise or not, that for Week 25, I wasn't really going to point my food. I was going to focus on making good choices (or better bad choices, as Jaimie puts it) and not focus on the numbers.

Well, I made some good choices, some bad choices, and some better bad ones. And in the end, in Week 25, I lost 0.4 pounds.  But rather than see this as a disappointment, I see it as a reassurance. Because what I was doing in Week 25 was seeing what "maintenance" would be like--the thing I'm going to do for the rest of my life once I hit my goal.  And when that part of my life comes, I'll be able to do the same sorts of things: I'll have ice cream sundaes with family to celebrate my baby sister's birthday, but choose the smaller size. I'll be able to go out with friends, and grab a turkey burger or a chicken sandwich, and pass on the fries. I'll choose to eat lots of veggies, and ask questions about how food is prepared, and drink lots of water.

And I'll be successful. I believe that.

Unfortunately, Maintenance doesn't mean weight loss, and that's what i need right now. So I'm back on pointing. 

...Mostly.  See, yesterday was my dad's birthday.  We went out.  And while I won't confess all my gastronomical sins, I will say that I consumed almost a pound of steak.  And, oh the pain! A good reminder of why I don't eat like that anymore. So needless to say, I'm relinquishing my "bonus bank" points this week, and trying to get in at least a few workouts around a busy schedule, to make up for it.

But that's the thing: those days, they're going to happen. Life happens.  And rather than get all bent out of shape about it, I'm learning how to step back and realize I'm going to be okay. 

I'm not happy with my weight, so I'm going to work to change it. It may not be as easy or fast as I had hoped, but it will happen. I want it to happen.

So there's my story, folks. 456. 49 pounds total. But I feel better, and I'm ready to keep moving forward.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Week 23 Weigh-in: In which I finally reach my first big weight goal after almost 6 months (and other stuff happened)

Starting weight: 505.4 lbs
Week 23 Weight: 455.0 lbs
Week 23 Change: -1.8 lbs
Total Weight Loss: 50.4 lbs


That's right: I lost almost 2 pounds on Thanksgiving Week, and reached my 10% / 50-lb goal.  That's Victory #1.

Victory #2: I finished the 10K at roughly 2 hours and 6 minutes--which for any half-serious competitor isn't great, but for me is about 15 minutes faster than my best time at that distance. That's the difference that the weight loss makes. And by Sunday, almost all the soreness was gone, so my recovery time is improving.

And now, it's back to work, and looking toward my next goal.  Here's what I'd like to do: I'd like to get through Christmas and hit New Years at least 10 pounds lighter than I am now. That's about 2 pounds a week, which is a faster clip than I've been going at lately, but is really what I should be losing on a regular basis anyway.  Besides, this is the hardest time of year for me, food-wise, since I'm a candy/baked-goods addict.

So that's the prize I'm looking at right now: less than 445 by January 2.

Who's with me? Wanna try to lose 10 pounds over the holidays? Let me know in the comments.

Waddle on, friends.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Week 22 Weigh-in

Starting weight: 505.4 lbs
Week 22 Weight: 456.8 lbs
Week 22 Change: +0.2 lbs
Total Weight Loss: 48.6 lbs


So yeah. There's that.

And now, Thanksgiving Week is upon us. *shudder*

Just kidding. I'm not too worried. Different approach, different mindset this year. Good things.

I'm still signed up for the 10K in two days. That, I'm a little more worried about. But hey. I'll go slow, pay attention to my body, and get through.

I know there are some of you that are incredibly frustrated with me. Maybe even think I'm hopeless, that I don't want to change.  There's nothing that I can say that will change your opinion of me and what i'm doing, so i'm not going to bother. I just wanted to acknowledge that I know you're there. Thanks for hanging around anyway.

Happy Thanksgiving, kids. Make good choices. Win the (turkey) day. That's my goal, too.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Week 21 Weigh-in: Wait, what happened to Week 20?

Starting weight: 505.4 lbs
Week 21 Weight: 456.6 lbs
Week 21 Change: -1.0 lbs
Total Weight Loss: 48.8 lbs


Little things can throw off the balance, and when the difference between success and failure is measured in ounces, these little things make a big difference.

Two days before the Week 20 weigh-in, I was showing about a half-pound loss.  Not good, but a loss. Figured I could maybe pull another half-pound before I had to weigh in.

Over the next two days, I ate pretty well, but my diet included some salty foods. Apparently A LOT of salty foods.

On the scale, I was UP 5.2 pounds.  And I could vouch for the fact that I didn't eat those extra calories in 2 days, so clearly the salt (I came to realize later) was a big deal.

But it was a blow. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't lose my composure on the scale.

And I started to skid. Made some dumb food choices. This is something I'm doing a little more lately, which worries me. I'll have a rough day, and slip on a meal or two afterward. I'll "forget" to point.  Emotional eating has always been an Achilles heel.  Frankly, this is why the last 10 pounds has taken me more than 2 months. I'll have a meal (or a day) where I don't follow the plan. I give up a little, and then come back.

So. Got back on track, ate extra potassium, drank water, all that.

On Saturday, was down 6.2 pounds, for an effective 1 pound loss over two weeks.  Again, disappointing. But at least it was in the right direction.

I'm 1.2 pounds away from my 50-lb/10% goal. It's about dadgum time, too.

That's all I've got to say for myself. Sorry for the radio silence. I figured I'd rather wait and have proof that the weight gain was truly chemistry-related, and not the result of binge eating. (Because that would have been what, an extra 18,000 calories? Daaaaaang.)

I'll hopefully have a celebratory post next week. Till then, waddle on.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Week 19 Weigh-in: Nothing much to report.

Starting weight: 505.4 lbs
Week 19 Weight: 457.6 lbs
Week 19 Change: -1.4 lbs
Total Weight Loss: 47.8 lbs


Sorry for the late update. I really don't have that much to say about the weight loss. Glad it's still moving in the right direction. Wish it were moving faster.

But hey, here's something:

On Sunday afternoon, I walked/jogged the Monster Mash 5K for the third year in a row.  No costume, sadly. But I was just happy to be out there.  And without really training for it, being under-hydrated and sleep-deprived, I was still able to set a PR (personal record) of 59:42 for the distance.  It's a pathetic time, but it's my best, so I'll take it.  I even jogged for a minute or so in a couple of stretches during Miles 2 and 3. Never did that before either.

And that sub-60 time? Purely the difference in weight, which just blows me away. If I had properly trained, I might have been able to shave at least a few minutes off THAT time.  This is the first race I've done in about 11 months, and just losing 35-40 pounds between then and now made a huge difference.  I look forward to seeing how losing even more will help me going forward.

So. Positives all around. Trying to keep on the straight and narrow, diet-wise, which has been tricksy with Halloween. Basically, when I give in, I just have to count it all and make it work. Hopefully, my counts have been true and my body is able to cope with the sugar influx. 

Non-Scale Victory: Not buying any discounted Halloween candy.  Boom.

Have a good rest of your week, gang. Hopefully, the next post will be a milestone celebration.  If not, well, then it'll be the next one. I'm in it for the long haul, remember?

Monday, October 24, 2011

Week 18 Weigh-in: War of Attrition

Starting weight: 505.4 lbs
Week 18 Weight: 459.0 lbs
Week 18 Change: -1.0 lbs
Total Weight Loss: 46.4 lbs


In 4 1/2 months, i've lost 46.4 pounds. That averages out to about 10 pounds a month, give or take. (2.57 pounds a week. 0.368 pounds a day.)  Which, honestly, is not terrible, because if I kept at this pace overall, I'd hit goal weight at just over 2 years from starting the program, which is about what I was hoping for.  I guess I knew that there would be stretches where it would slow down.

But that's just overall loss. Let's look at recent weeks.

In the last 10 weeks, I've only lost 18.8 pounds (an average of 1.88 pounds a week, or 0.269 pounds a day).  The line on the graph is flattening a bit (ironically, as I am not flattening as much). 

In the last 4 weeks, I've lost 4 pounds.  Like this week, I've averaged 1 pound a week.

What's the point of bringing this up, Dave?  Just to beat yourself up?

Okay, maybe, in part. Also to say this:

I'm still moving forward. I'm looking for ways to improve, to pick up speed; but the fact is, I'm still moving forward.

I went to the gym twice last week. I'm looking forward to working out two or three times this week. I have a 5K that I'm walking next Sunday.  I'm going back to basics with the Weight Watchers plan--trying to follow the Good Health Guidelines they set up for working the plan properly.

It's a long road ahead. It's a hard road. And I'm still on it.  The battle is to find out which is more stubborn: my mind or my overweight body. And right now, i'm telling you, I think my mind is.

See you next week.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Week 17 Weigh-in: Birthday Blues

Starting weight: 505.4 lbs
Week 17 Weight: 460.0 lbs (again)
Week 17 Change: 0 lbs
Total Weight Loss: 45.4 lbs


So it was my birthday week. I was hoping for a big week, possibly hitting my 50 lb / 10% mark. 

But as we all know, hoping doesn't accomplish anything. And I did little more than hope. I didn't plan, and I certainly didn't work any harder. So no change.  But on the plus side, no gains, either.  And I had a birthday dinner the night before my weigh-in (complete with birthday cupcake), so not gaining anything was a blessing as well.

I need to exercise. This is clear. My food tracking is still a little inconsistent, and exercising more can more than make up for that. Plus, I'll feel better.  I went to the gym yesterday, and though I was a little nervous at first, once I got started I was fine. In fact, after 30 minutes on the elliptical, I felt good.  This needs to be a regular thing.

I got new running shoes.  New shoes always seem to make workouts better. (Look, i know that's stupid, but humor me this week, okay?)

Anyway, the mid-week sneak-peeks at the scale are showing a downward trend, so I'm expecting a decent-to-good number on Saturday. And I'm going to hit the gym at least one or two more times between now and then. So yeah. Good things.

Have a good week, friends.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Week 15 and 16 Weigh-Ins: Keep moving forward.

Starting weight: 505.4 lbs
Week 15 Weight: 461.8 lbs
Week 15 Change: -1.2 lbs
Week 16 Weight: 460.0 lbs
Week 16 Change: -1.8 lbs
Total Weight Loss: 45.4 lbs


Before we proceed, a motivational video:

I love that clip. And yes, it motivates me.

Sorry about the no-post last week. My folks have been out of town, and I've been house-sitting/sister-wrangling for the last week. While I've had full access to the internet, my mind hasn't been on this.

To be honest, my head's been wrong all week.  I've been off balance, out of my element, whatever you want to call it. Haven't been able to weigh myself, because my family's scale is a standard scale with too low of a max weight.  Plus, there's all this food in their house that I purposefully don't keep in mine.  Trigger foods.  Add to this all sorts of stress triggers. Work stress. Family stress. A bit of ministry stress. Single, 30yr. old, brotha-needs-to-finda-wife stress. (I guess people just call all this "life," right?) 

Oh, plus the fact that my bank card number was stolen and almost used to charge up hundreds of dollars in hotel reservations.  And also, because of a mistake on my part (not using the electric company's website properly two weeks ago when i tried to pay my bill), my bill went unpaid and my apartment power was turned off this week, which means all the food in my fridge will need to be thrown out.

So posting a loss this week is a blessing.  That's what I'm going to keep telling myself. I'm frustrated that, before today, I've had a net loss of about 5 lbs in the last month. I'm irritated that my self-control seems to be degrading, and that snacks and sodas that I could resist so easily in the early months, I've started succumbing to lately. I'm aggravated that, even though I signed up for the Halloween 5K in August, I only started training for it THIS WEEK.

I'm disappointed in myself, in general, is the bottom line.  So I'm left with two options: give up, or keep moving forward.

I think you know what I'm picking. 

It's time to go back to the mantra that I had early this year, but somehow lost along the way: Win the Day.

That's all I've got. That's all I can fix. I can't make up for past mistakes, and mere worry can't prevent future ones. All I have is today. And today, I'm going to win.

Have a good week, friends. Pray for me, if you are one who prays. Shoot me a text or email, if you like. Remind me to win the day.  Thanks.