Cutting the String

I posted my new weight in the Weight Watchers counter thing, and it actually warned me that I'm losing weight too quickly. I mean, I understand that losing weight at alarming rates can have negative health effects, but really--I lost less than one percent of my body weight. I'll be okay.

I was looking at the website, and it has this progress graph. I reset it to show my progress from my first day with WW until now. Here's what I saw:
See, I joined WW in January of 2006. That's right, five years ago. I've been paying a membership fee for all this time, even the stretches where I didn't track anything. I considered that my "fat tax."

You can see there my very first "Week 2" weight. I lost ten pounds that first week. I ended up dipping down to just under 411 in July 2006, before bouncing back up. That's the lightest I've been in five years.

It's interesting, isn't it, to think about five years of your life. Struggles, victories, relationships gained and lost, lovers, enemies, apartments, houses, friends getting married, friends having babies, friends divorcing. Lots of time.

In that time, my weight, as you can see, has gone up and down. You can easily track the moments in which I recommitted to getting serious, and the times when I gave up and gave in. Little valleys, that eventually led to new peaks. Each of those little dips? About 10-15 pounds. I'd get serious, work hard, and then fade out. And get heavier. From January to July of 2006, I lost 61 pounds. Then gained it back. In January of 2007, I lost 15 pounds in three weeks, and then gained it all back. Over a month in the fall of that year, I lost about 25 pounds. Then gained it back. Over six months in 2009, I lost 25 pounds. Then gained it all back. (Incidentally, it turns out that when i started this latest trip on the weight-loss train, I was not my heaviest ever. In March of 2009, I actually logged a weight of 505. At least, that was my tracked number--who knows what my actual heaviest was.)

I am the living definition of a yo-yo dieter.

I'm sharing all this because I want you to see the pattern I'm seeing. I get a little success, and then stop trying. When I start putting the weight back on, I get frustrated and give up, and end up worse than when I started. I mean, look at that graph! That's bad news!

We've even seen it in me thus far this year, haven't we. First week: big loss. Second week: no loss. Third week: gain. And now, I'm almost at that magic 15-pound mark.

It's clear to me that I need accountability and I need to be called out by caring friends, so that I stop falling into these patterns. So I'm asking for help. I'm tired of being a yo-yo. Will you help me? Comment, email, text. Call me out on video if I start slacking off. Get my attention.

My goal weight, is about 3 full "squares" below that plotted line in that picture. Which means I need a lot more of these 4-pound weeks. I need to stay focused. I don't want to give up. I'm gonna do everything I can not to give up.

But I'm not going to be able to do this alone.