Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Week Si--errr, Seven Weigh-In: Get Back, JoJo

Starting Weight: 477.4 lbs
Week 7 Weigh-in: 465.0 lbs
Weekly Gain: 0.4 lbs
Total Loss: 12.4 lbs


I took a week off and didn't weigh in. I used my birthday as an excuse. That was dumb.

So was eating too much birthday cake.

But in two weeks, I've gained less than half of a pound, which is a blessing. I think I may be starting to run out of these blessings, and I need to get my butt in gear.

Speaking of in gear, I rode my bike around my apartment complex for about ten minutes yesterday. Not a lot, but it was fun. And cold. I need to bundle up better.

I haven't been counting points. I know. I know. I'm gonna.

Part of the problem is that I didn't really go to the grocery store last week, with all the other stuff going on in the week. I didn't write out my October budget, so I didn't have the cash ready, so I didn't want to go, so I ended up eating out too much. And while I did make a few good choices, I made a lot of bad ones.

Anyway. Here I am. And hopefully tonight, I can get back to where I once belonged--losing 5-7 pounds a week and finally making some progress again.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Week 5 Weigh-in: Better Late than Never

Starting Weight: 477.4 lbs
Week 5 Weigh-in: 464.6 lbs
Weekly Loss: 1.6 lbs
Total Loss: 12.8 lbs


It's Thursday, I know, I know.

Despite a half-hearted week, I lost a pound and a half (or, a pound plus the little I gained). And I have to confess, this week so far is the same thing. I'm only half-heartedly committed right now. I don't want to point, I don't want to count, I don't want to limit.

Right now, as I'm typing this, I'm eating a Snickers bar and drinking a verboten root beer. I pointed the bar but not the drink. This is what I'm talking about. Half-hearted.

I need a renaissance of commitment. And I find myself unwilling to do that before Monday. Cuz nobody but nobody wants to point their birthday cake.

Here we are, gang. My first real valley of decision, in this go-round of dieting. (I wanted to type "this last go-round," but right now, I don't have the confidence in myself to say this is the final countdown for me.) This is the point where I fell away earlier in the year. I received the diet with joy, but when the sun rose and scorched the earth, I withered because I had no roots.

So that's my prayer for the week. That this new approach to eating, this new lifestyle, will dig deep roots in me, and find the ground water down there to help it survive and thrive.

I'm tired to death of being a fat man.

(Happy Birthday, BigLoserDave. Give yourself a present this year. Make a change.)

Friday, October 5, 2007

BigLoserDave's Tip of the Week.

Even if you're using the Weight Watchers' recipe for peanut butter cookies, if you eat the whole batch in the space of 3 days, it's still not good for you. Idiot.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

"Biggest Loser" Commentary: Temptation Challenge

Something I meant to talk about, from last week's show (Week 3):

First, seems like everyone had a low week. The initial huge losses are now being followed by a small loss. It's easy to get disheartened. I'm going through it too. (Though obviously, I was doing other stuff that caused my gain.) But it's a good thing to remember. Even people who put up big numbers on a regular basis have small weeks.

So, the Blue Team made a couple of really bad decisions last week. First, they voted off Jerry. Dumb, dumb, dumb. He was the one who'd lost the most weight, and who'd been a true team captain. My prediction is that they are now going to be less focused, and there will be more in-fighting.

The bigger mistake last week involved the "Temptation" challenge. Basically, they were sent one-by-one into a room with a bunch of really deliciously-looking forbidden food, where they had to stay for 4 minutes before leaving. They were told that the person who consumed the most calories would get a 3-lb pass to add to their weight loss at the upcoming weigh-in.

There was some miscommunication, and two Blue Team members ended up indulging in the food, each consuming over a thousand calories in the space of that four minutes. The "winner" of the challenge ate almost 1900 calories. (Turns out, she would have lost the most weight on her team, even without it.) And with all the talk of "for the team," I couldn't help but recognize the greedy look in their eyes. I've worn that look myself, I'm sure, countless times. And I lost sympathy for them in that moment. I almost felt like they were transgressing, in a sense. Betraying their mission.

Here's my question: If I'm on a show where losing weight and learning to eat right is the goal, why the heck would I jeopardize this progress by pigging out "for the sake of the team"? If I had to go into that room, I would have grabbed a chair as far away from the food as possible to wait out my required time.

That's the kind of tenacity I would have to have. Or, do have to have. I didn't have it this weekend, and I'm furious with myself about it. These have to be lifestyle choices, decisions that I keep having to make every day, because it's the smart thing to do and it's what's best for me.

Temptations are going to come, on this diet. But I can't make excuses about how it's "okay" this time or that time. I can't get in the habit of justifying pigging out. Because all it does is set me back and weaken my slowly strengthening resolve.

So yeah, that's the craziness that transpired last week. I'll give you an update tomorrow with my thoughts on tonight's new episode (at 7:30 CST, if you want to watch with me).

Week 4 Weigh-in: Slipping but not Sliding.

Starting Weight: 477.4 lbs
Week 4 Weigh-in: 466.2 lbs
Weekly Loss: -0.6 lbs
Total Loss: 11.2 lbs


Yeah, I gained back a half-pound this week, but considering how I know I was eating, that half-pound is a mercy.

I spent most of this past week at my parents' house, taking care of siblings and keeping everything together while the folks took a much-needed weekend vacation. As such, I was cooking for (or buying meals out for) not only myself, but my sibs. My folks also keep a lot of snack foods in the house. While they did provide me with good options, the bad ones were right there beside them. When the good stuff ran out, I just kept on with the bad. And so it goes.

Really, if we're being honest, the half-pound gain is really a 6-pound or so gain, since I lost any ground I would have made up this week, too. Thinking about it that way makes me a little more frustrated.

Not only that, but I slipped into my old eating habits. I was always munching on something (or, in some cases, a lot of somethings), and not stopping myself. At least at work, it's easier (believe it or not) because there are constant distractions. There's work. That keeps me occupied. At "home," I had nothing to distract me, and I kept snacking as I sat and watched TV or played video games.

I think I'm running into the dichotomy of "diet vs. lifestyle change." I have been treating this exercise like a diet that I will go on and then go off. But it has to be more. It has to be a conscious change in how I live, from now on. So that's the goal now, to make that change permanent. That's why the up-and-down inconsistent food intake I've been dealing with has been so problematic. I can't live like that. I need to find a good "food" rhythm so that I can make these changes part of how I live, instead of something I'm just doing for a while.

So here we are. Some ground lost (or pound gained, if you like.) I slipped, but didn't slide. We're back up. I'm hitting the grocery store tonight to restock my house with good things, and we're back in the game.